Self Portrait as a Chest of Toys

I was a chest of toys -
an excess of wealth and youth;
half treasure, half waste of space.

I was the hair on dolls
matted by neglect and
the smell of plastic
and misplaced sweets.
I was mismatched socks,
a princess dress,
a hero's cape.

I was the wonder
as to if that chest contained a heart
and lungs -
and because I wondered,
it did.

More than anything I was a façade of perfection
having everything, but being nothing
and over these years I've been emptied
and then filled as if by a birthday -
and then emptied
and then filled
and emptied.