stand-up tapestry


I

He reached out and fingered
the honey-colored halter bralette
wrapping around my neck
peeking out from under my tank top

 

What a pretty little brassiere thing,
the bald, snaggletooth 75-year-old man said
(interrupting me)
It goes with your freckles by the way 
(I don’t have freckles)

 

I laughed thinly,
gave a weak smile and said,

 

Thank you

 

he interpreted this as
(or did I give him?)
permission
consent
encouragement

 

You know,
I noticed your blue dress earlier and I liked it,
he grinned

 

The original question I had asked was
How do you think the new coffee beans taste?
I was interviewing him for a journalism 271 assignment

 

He said he tastes coffee the same way he tastes whiskey
by breathing it across his tongue

 

Oh, okay, I said
and (to my own disgust) coughed out a giggle
You don’t even blink, he said
(he expected to get more of a rise out of me)

 

Now ask me more questions, he demanded

 

I listened
did as he said and started to ask
So, what coffee did you—
Come here
, he said
(interrupting again)
beckoning me to lean in closer

 

I don’t want to admit it
but I listened to him
(again)
did as he said
and leaned in

 

So, did you get dark or light roast?
I asked again

 

I don’t know, it’s whatever the tall girl gave me,
whose name is long-tall-Sally
,
he pointed to the 20-something-year-old
coffee shop manager

 

he grabbed my hand
pushed it onto my notepad
Write that down
I got whatever long-tall-Sally-bean…
I call her
Long
Tall
Sally
Bean
he repeats
emphasizing
tasting
each word
in his mouth
across his tongue
like whiskey

 

II

 

You should’ve stood up for yourself,
you tell me in the car
Slapped his hand.
Told him to stop

 

I should have

 

Asia Argento
Cate Blanchett
Cara Delevingne
Salma Hayek
Ashley Judd
Minka Kelly
Angelina Jolie
And all the other women with no names

 

should have
25 years ago

 

But instead, we said:

 

Thank-you

 

Thank you for answering my interview questions
Thank you for giving me this movie role

 

Thank you for complimenting (objectifying) me

 

And he is left oblivious
ignorant of any wrongdoing.
The contrary actually:
he feels good

 

III

 

Unable to shake this interaction from my head
I bring it up to my friends
(ashamed)

 

They too have lost their voices

 

When Dianne was 16 she worked at a diner
and an older man always came
requesting her
only to stare at her breasts
Once he hugged me and I just froze, she said
In those moments, you just don’t know what to do

 

When Maddie was 17 she worked at a bridal shop
and once while fitting a groom for his tux
he deviously asked her
Will you be here when I come back?
I only want to deal with you
,
he chuckled with his friends
I got really red in the face and ran away, she said
(why should she be embarrassed?
he’s the one about to get married)

 

When I was 18, I worked in a grocery store meat department
One of the butchers told me his girlfriend let him watch porn
Told me he didn’t eat anything from the sea
unless it was wearing a bikini 
After my shift was over
I took off my white, blood-stained coat
and he whispered to a co-worker
what a nice tight little body

 

every time an attractive female walked by the meat counter
he would whistle to his co-workers
As you get older you just can’t control it anymore,
he told me

 

I nodded in silence to all of this

 

Another time a different butcher (in his 70s)
asked me to describe to him all my bikinis’ colors

 

(I wish these next words were not true)

 

At the time,
I listened
did as he said

 

Blue, green and red

 

I bet he too
breathed those words in like whiskey

 

At the time,
I thought it was okay
he’s just a creepy old man
he means no harm
I would say

 

IV

 

You’re right,
We should have stood up

 

Just like ‘Bobby Jo’ should have
when two fraternity brothers
repeatedly said her nickname was BJ
on stage in front of a large crowd
(it was for philanthropy
choosing a Derby Day Queen
in a comedic fashion)

 

Just like my friend Annie should have
when she was a freshman
and her university’s quarterback
pushed his body on hers
while the two were alone in his room
C’mon you should have known
he didn’t really want to watch Netflix
,
her friends told her

 

We
should stand up

 

V

 

Imagine I had stood up
smacked his veiny, decaying hand away

 

Imagine you were there in a plush chair
sipping freshly brewed Kenyan dark roast,
earbuds in, plugged into your laptop

 

Don’t touch me like that,
I would say, attempting sternness

 

I was just trying to compliment you,
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…
he stammers
(a retired English professor
who describes himself as
a pretty famous poet)

 

I get up to leave the coffee shop
but he protests

 

Look little lady I didn’t mean to offend you,
let’s calm down

 

Curious eyes would flit
away from their screens
just for a moment
to see the
scene
they’d see me get up and leave
they’d think, geez relax
the poor guy was
just being friendly

 

‘Long Tall Sally Bean’ was the one
who had recommended interviewing him

 

Earlier I saw them bantering over the bar
He’d be a good one, she said
(she meant that he’s a regular
every day, twice a day for a few hours,
and pays her bills)

 

Don’t let your BS run dry, he said
(old man wisdom)
Alright, I said flatly
Okay, girl! he said 
(milking his position as
the quirky professor)
I (finally) stood up and walked away


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Jacqueline Knirnschild

Jacqueline Knirnschild is a writer with a BA in English from the University of Mississippi, where she also minored in Chinese & Anthropology and graduated as the Class Marshal of the College of Liberal Arts in 2020. Her writing has been published in The Cleveland Review of Books, Number: Inc, Burnaway, The Key Reporter and is forthcoming in Full Stop. She currently lives in Brunswick, Ohio with her partner, Drew. "Stand-Up Tapestry" is a poem that she wrote in the fall of 2017 in response to the #MeToo movement.